literature

Regret

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Literature Text


   Why did you go?



   I wasn’t ready.



   



   I never got to say goodbye.



   Did you think of me before you went?



   



   Why couldn’t you hold on for a little bit longer?



   If I had known…



   



   Why did you have to smoke those damn cigarettes?



   I wish I could have helped you.



   


   I hope you weren’t lonely.



   …because I am now.



   



   Do you have any regrets?



   I do.



   



   I haven’t seen you in years…



   …and it’s my entire fault.



   



   Did you still love me?



   ...because I still love you.



   



   And…



   



   



   I miss you.



   



   



   I’m sorry.

My grandmother on my father's side (Granny) passed away last night. I've been taking it... harder than I thought I would. Not for obvious grieving reasons, but because of the regret I feel for allowing a stupid feud between my father and I get between my seeing her for the past six years... and now she is gone. I didn't even know she was that bad off.

I made amends with my dad about two weeks ago... Funny how things work sometimes.

This is piece is moreover a tool just to get out any feelings I have. My anger and resent in plain text and my true feelings in italics--and somehow, in an odd way, the italics are also things I hope that my granny would have said to me...
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